Many of us remember what it was like to be bullied when we were younger. All those nights spent crying because someone would always steal your lunch, or those mornings when you dreaded going to school, just so you wouldn’t have to face being called names again. Being bullied is a traumatizing experience and has the capacity to have a lasting influence on a child.
Here are the cold, hard facts:
Across the world, DoSomething.Org reports that:
- Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year.
- Physical bullying increases in elementary school, peaks in middle school and declines in high school.
- 1 out of 10 students drop out of school because of repeated bullying.
- 1 out of 8 children are bullied on a weekly basis in Singapore.
- 4 out of 35 children are repeatedly being bullied by their peers.
- What is bullying?
Bullying is defined as unwelcome behavior among school-age children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. A powerful bully intentionally harms someone who is weaker through repeated hurtful behaviors that could result in damaging consequences.
Studies show that bullying has a serious negative impact on a child’s life and development. They may find it more difficult than others to adjust, have a low psychological well-being, face psychological distress and are almost always physically unwell.
How do I bully-proof my child?
1) Teach them self-confidence.
Children who grow up with low self-esteem are often more prone to bullying. Giving them the confidence to deal with and avoid physical aggression will most certainly increase their self-esteem. This confidence can be developed by learning martial arts. Not only will a child learn the skills necessary to neutralize an attack, but also how to avoid conflict.
2) Build trust.
The easiest way to build trust is by showing your child that you want to be an active part of his or her life. Stay connected and keep lines of communication open all the time. Ensure them that you are always there for them, no matter how trivial their problems may seem. If you have an open relationship with your child, the less likely he or she will be bullied.
3) Ensure that they grow up in a compassionate, loving home.
This is probably one of the most effective ways to prevent your child from being bullied and becoming a bully himself. Remember, children are very impressionable and often act out what they see at home. If your discipline methods include shaming or hitting, there may be a chance that they will do the same to others. Make sure that your child grows up in a loving home that disciplines with compassion.
4) Teach them basic bully-avoidance.
Since bullying often occurs when adults aren’t present, teach your child to avoid potential situations where they know bullying could occur. Sitting at the front of the bus or hurrying to the classroom when the bell rings could substantially minimize contact with bullies.
5) Encourage them to learn basic self-defense.
Self-defense means exactly what it does — defending yourself against an attacker. For children, learning how to deal with confrontation without the use of physical aggression is paramount. This not only prevents the child from becoming a bully himself, but also gives them an enhanced sense of responsibility by giving them the ability to take control of the situation until help arrives.
Unfortunately, most children continue to tolerate bullying despite the havoc it wreaks on their lives. Thus, with some very basic training in self-defense, many children’s lives can be vastly improved.
Through martial arts, violence and bullying can be dealt with by using non-violent techniques. Children will be taught to stand up for themselves and gain the confidence they need to take control of their lives and control bullies in a safe and proven manner.
You're never too young to put up a good fight, as demonstrated by one little boy who mustered up all his might to break a board during a taekwondo class.
We'll admit we're not sure it's as easy as it looks, but this kid was ready to do whatever it took. While it could've taken blood, sweet and tears, he was all laughs.
The first time he eagerly jumps on top of the box and stamps his feet as he shouts "hai YAH" over and over again, getting quite the giggles out of his fellow classmates. Then the teacher instructs him that the task must be completed with one leg. So what does he do? Naturally he just tries to kick over the board with his foot. Unfortunately, there's no easy way out on this one!
The teacher then demonstrates on the floor what must be done. Not surprisingly, the boy just copies the teacher and slams his foot down on the floor. Per usual the class is amused. It seems he's quite the class clown!
Next, he tries breaking the board by smashing his hands on top. Wrong body part, buddy! Eventually, he realizes it's supposed to be just one foot slammed on top. After a few tries, he finally does it and earns his white belt. All in a hard day's work!
The little boys reaction is absolutely priceless. He's so proud of himself, clapping for himself along with the rest of his classmates and doing, of course, a little victory dance. He sure knows how to ham it up!
It's no wonder this adorable video has received over a million views in just two days. Looks like there's a new karate kid in town! Watch The full video here: http://www.today.com/news/adorable-little-boy-tries-his-hardest-break-board-taekwondo-t37826
Theres a New Black Belt on the scene in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and you might know him from The Avengers
Do sweaty men turn women on? Informal office polls say no, but science tells a different story.
Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley have conducted a study that concluded a few whiffs of androstadienone–a pheromone found in male sweat and perfumes–can raise levels of the hormone cortisol in women. Cortisol is associated with stress, but also arousal and brain activation.
The study, reported this week in The Journal of Neuroscience, provides the first direct evidence that humans, like rats and some insects, secrete a scent that affects the physiology of the opposite sex.
“Many people argue that human pheromones don’t exist, because humans don’t exhibit stereotyped behavior,” said Claire Wyart, a postdoctoral researcher in the Berkeley Olfactory Research Program, in a prepared statement. “Nonetheless, this male chemical signal, androstadienone, does cause hormonal as well as physiological and psychological changes in women. More cognitive studies need to be done to understand how androstadienone affects female cognitive functions.”
In two trials, 48 female undergrads at Berkeley were asked to take 20 sniffs from a bottle containing androstadienone, which the researchers say smells vaguely musky. Over a period of two hours, the volunteers provided five saliva samples, from which cortisol levels were determined.
The control group sniffed a yeast solution, while the other group took a hit of androstadienone. The group exposed to the pheromone reported an improved mood and significantly higher sexual arousal, as well as physiological responses such as changes in blood pressure and heart rate.
Cortisol levels in the group exposed to androstadienone rose within about 15 minutes and remained elevated for more than an hour.
Are you missing college yet?
Although androstadienone appears to incite changes in hormonal levels in women, there is no hard evidence–or any personal, anecdotal experience for that matter–that male sweat induces subliminal or instinctual behavior on the part of women that might make them gravitate toward a sweaty male.
In rats, hormonal secretion can cause behavior changes in the sniffer because of a vomeronasal organ rodents have. Humans have a similar organ, but it appears to be vestigal with no nerve connection to the brain.
By: Lynne Namka, ED D.
I’m getting so many letters from baffled parents with angry children. Some of the parents have a background of abuse from childhood. Others have a child with an anger prone temperament. Other angry children have a history of sexual abuse the parents may not know about. Some children have a combination of these three factors. If your child has a change in behavior for the worse, ask him or her if someone has touched their private parts or has hurt them in any way.
I call these kids who are different from your ordinary type of discipline kids the Industrial Strength Kids. They require Industrial Strength Parenting. Even more than the ordinary garden variety type of child, Industrial Strength Kids need to learn the skills talking about feelings instead of acting them out, containing their anger, handling criticism and being able to see things from other people’s eyes.
So after you read this letter, sit down with your (older) child and read the parts of it to him or her that could be understood. Then work together in making a plan to address the various aspects of what I describe.
Children who talk about their feelings decrease their anger. As they grow up, they are less likely to turn to alcohol or drugs or join gangs. One of the MOST IMPORTANT skills for children with anger to learn is to talk about their feelings instead of acting them out in anger outbursts. Children who talk out their hurts and disappointments have an outlet for their stress.
Some other skills that can be taught and reinforced are taking turns, listening to others, inhibiting behaviors that threaten others, following directions, stopping sarcasm and egging others on. Some of the higher level skills are resolving conflict, listening with empathy when pain and hurt are described, giving support and encouragement and creative problem solving.
Social skills are easy to teach. Children can learn the positive values of treating each other with respect and taking responsibility for their own behavior. The steps to teaching social skills are similar to teaching academic subjects except that play and group activities and discussion plays a stronger role.
- Identify the skill that needs to be learned.
- Introduce the skill through discussion and modeling of the desired response.
- Give the rule and alternatives to the rule.
- Cue the child what to say and do regarding the new skill.
- Have the child cue himself through self talk.
- Provide practice of the skill through modeling, games, puppet and doll play, and role playing.
- Reinforce the new skill during practice.
- Teach the child to reinforce himself using self talk for using the skill. (Feel good about using the skill!)
- Provide opportunities for generalization and reinforcement of the skill in daily play.